Written with Love on Your First Day of Middle School

Your bag is packed and your new clothes are laid out. Your Chromebook is charging and your 6:00 AM alarm is set. Tonight, your smile shined bright and your excitement radiated. For tomorrow is a big day - another milestone - and for you, another big step forward. It’s your first day of middle school and the next step on life’s journey is about to begin.

It was six years ago when I wrote, “Written with Love on Your 1st Day of Kindergarten,” and with tears in my eyes, tonight I write, reflecting on the past six years of life where you’ve grown so much, learned so much, and have gone from a spunky five year old full of life to a mature and courageous young lady full of empathy and grace.

If I were to even begin to write all the ways in which you made our family proud, the list would be longer than all of my books combined. As you begin your middle school journey…

You are courageous.
You are brave.
You are brilliant.
Your story has left an impression on tens of thousands of people around the world.

Six years ago, I wrote...

“For the past five years, we’ve begged time to stand still. Like you, we’re anxious for your first day too. We’re nervous that not everyone will protect you from your food allergies like we do or that someone may hurt your precious little heart. We’re blessed to know you’re going to an amazing school, with a dynamic leader and kindergarten teacher, and an incredible staff, all of whom will love and care about you. They will help you start off right. So today we begin to let you go; even just a little bit.”

Little did we know at the time, but the next few years of life would bring a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges, along with life-changing events. Your OIT journey, and the way you’ve overcome the challenges life has thrown at you, leaves us in awe. You’ve stared adversity in the face each step of the way, and you’ve shown more courage than one should have to before they start middle school. Yet, you’ve done it. You’ve overcome those fears, and it’s given you immense empathy and compassion for others in the process. It’s part of your story; part of who you are.

Six years ago, we shared a few life lessons, and said that there were “many of which you won’t fully understand until you are much older.” Well, here you are. Older. Braver. ...and certainly wise enough to truly understand. So, I wanted to update the list - some of which remain exactly the same, to pass on some life lessons to our angel on her first day.

So, as you start middle school, always remember:

1. Show people that they matter.
There will be days when others question their worth. It may be a friend on the bus with struggles at home. It may be a bus driver going through something difficult, or a teacher who is having a tough day. Every day, without ceasing, show people that they matter. Do nice things. Authentically say nice things. Show them that you care. It’s not only you that matters - they do too. Show them that, every day, as you’ll never know the ‘hidden stories’ on the hearts of those around you. You know the battles you face; recognize everyone else has theirs too.

2. Laugh often.
Life is a gift. Enjoy it. Have fun every day. Make others laugh. Make others smile. Laugh freely and often. Love life with all that you have and with all that you are. Don’t take yourself - or others - too seriously. Laughter is contagious. Pass it on freely, and choose your lens wisely each day.

3. Take risks.
It’s natural to want to fit in - especially in middle school. Over the next few years, this is something you’ll probably think about more and more, but know that greatness has never been achieved without taking risks. Step out of the box that life often wants to put you in and always be YOU – be who you want to be and push yourself past that which you find comfortable. Never forget that your greatest hope is far more powerful than your greatest fear, and the view while following the crowd… stinks.

4. Say please and thank you.
People will help you in some way, every day. From the teacher who pushes you to think differently or to give just a bit more, to the secretary who makes sure you have what you need, to the bus driver who greets you in the morning, to the principal that makes sure you’re safe, show them that you appreciate the love they have for you. Your kindness and appreciation for others matters. Make sure to say please and thank you, every time, whether you’re 11 or 111.

5. Know that hard work pays off.
We will be forever proud of you, especially when you give your best. As you’ve seen each year at school, there will be things that come easy to you and other things that are a challenge. Give your all, persevere when things are difficult, and challenge yourself to try things that are new and different. For it is outside your comfort zone where the magic happens. Find your magic and let your light shine. Talent gets you nowhere. Your actions do. So, go get those things that you want so badly.

6. Understand that learning is messy.
As the perfectionist you are, it’s still hard for you to be okay with the fact that learning is messy – and takes time. Don’t learn things because others say you should. Learn because you want to. Ask great questions. Seek to understand. Make mistakes. Fail at new things often, and then get up and try again. Always stay curious. 

7. You’ll always be more than a number.
As you’ve seen over the years, you’ll take many assessments. These are designed to help your teachers know how you’re doing and how they can best help you. Sometimes you’ll see scores on the top of a paper. Never let these scores or numbers define you. You are far more than a data point, as we care most about things that can never be measured; your character, integrity, and work ethic. We will always care far more about who you are and how you treat others than about numbers on the top of a paper.

8. Follow your heart and passion – not what the world says you should do.
It’s easy to follow a crowd. Making your own path is the challenge. Follow your heart. If you love art – be an artist. If your love is music – sing and dance. If you want to be a scientist – invent something new. If you want to use computers, then learn how to code. Never let the world tell you something is ‘for boys’. Crush that. Follow your heart and passion, and be the best your God-given talents will allow. No one changed the world by being like everyone else. So just always be you. God designed you the way he did for a reason.

9. Pay it forward.
Find ways to do random acts of kindness. Every day. Surprise people and make them smile; even those you may not know. One of life’s greatest rewards is giving to others. Such giving will stretch your heart – and that’s a good thing. There’s plenty of room for love and generosity in there. Fill it to the brim and give freely. 

10. Be Authentically Kind. Always.
In middle school, many girls will care about being ‘popular,’ and will seemingly do anything to try and make that the case. Care more about being known as the kind kid. Be the girl that invites the new girl in class to her lunch table. Be the girl that holds the door for her teacher. Be the girl who celebrates another girl’s happy moment. Be the girl that helps a classmate who is struggling. You never truly know the status of one’s heart; but you have opportunities, every day, to encourage others. Be intentional about it.

11. When you fail, get up and keep running.
There are times where you’ll try and things won’t go as planned. Maybe it’s a test. Maybe it’ll be while creating something in tech ed. Maybe it’ll be mixing a certain color in art. Fail, or “first attempt in learning”, is that what we go through to help us learn. Life is a marathon; not a sprint. The only time we truly fail is when we give up and refuse to try again. When you’re hurt. When you choose poorly. When you make a mistake. Get up and keep running. It’s going to happen. Many times. But, know there is always hope when you’re moving forward. So learn how to fail forward and be better tomorrow than you were today, and know that your family will be there to catch you every time you need it.

12. Dream big. Change the world.
You can be anything you want to be. You can and will change the world. You already have. Find your passion. Find what it is that you must do – your calling in life – and work tireless towards that for years to come. Dream big. Take more steps than you ever thought were possible. Shoot for the stars.

13. You will always be loved because you are our world.
You and your brother truly are our whole world. You always will be. There’s nothing in this world that can ever change that. So don’t be anxious as you walk through those doors this morning. You’ve got this!

Your day is here. It’s time for us to let go just a little bit more. As your bus begins to pull away, dream big, and...

Be Bold.
Be Fearless.
Be Proud.
Be You.
Your story isn’t finished yet…

It’s time for you to once again fly. We love you, our precious angel. We couldn’t be any more proud to call you our daughter.

Love you to the moon and back,